Social Grace. Say What?

There remains a segment of the population who adhere to the strict rules of the social graces. These people no longer fit in the 'norm' as it were. They are not rude, they will hold a door for the opposite sex, an elder, a youngster, a woman with a stroller. They will offer you a cold drink, a hot cup of tea, a snack. They'll provide you with a smile and "Hello. Nice to meet you." while making eye contact and shaking your hand. They will not say what is really on their mind in instances where doing so would be rude, offensive or hurtful. The old adage 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' still applies in their lives. I love these people.*

Are you one of these near extinct individuals? I am. Or rather I thought I was until I realized over the course of the last few weeks that I am fighting a losing battle with myself and those I encounter on a daily basis. Those simple acts of kindness, politeness, courtesy seem to have become the latest fatality in a world that seems a bit upside down. Upside down, that is, for people who have become, perish the thought, their parents! It bothers me no end that I am regularly the victim of rude, uncaring people. It bothers me more that I'm beginning to fight back. With my mouth. Oy.*

Ever the optimist & happiness spreading fool (that's a subject for another day) I have found myself letting things slip. Out.Of.My.Mouth. It has become no easy fete for me to zip my lips and walk away; from rude, unfriendly, uncaring people. *

Say what? Yes. Me. Tsk.Tsk.Tsk. I am no longer the daughter my mother and father carefully raised to be the hostess with the mostest or the girl everyone loves because she is always, and I mean always, nice to others. Plaster that smile on your face Chicky and suck it up, me. Nope. *

I just can't do it anymore. *

A few weeks ago I had to go in to the local Verizon Wireless store with a phone that was not working. After careful discussion and questions asked and answered a new phone was ordered. I knew the guy lied to me. Knew it. But I didn't want to believe it. Twenty-four hours later my refurbished, not new, phone arrived and I promptly called the store. I was treated to a young woman who told me, "I don't know why he told you that. He KNOWS we never send new phones." And that was that. She didn't want to hear about my complaint and didn't seem inclined to want to resolve the problem. So I kind of blew up at her. Alright, that's a fib. I did blow up. I was loud. I was rude. I was demanding. I probably ruined her day. *

I'm not calling to apologize. I took my phone problem to another local store where the problem was promptly, efficiently and courteously corrected. So, yeah. I have a new working phone and a large stone of guilt hanging from a chain around my neck. Know what I mean?*

Then, I went to Lowe's. I ran in to pick up some suet, a pair of work gloves and a live wreath for the front door. I quickly picked up the items and went to the self checkout area. Where the computer promptly did not like my scanning abilities. Or the bar codes. I'm not sure which. The female employee who was working the self checkout area was assisting another woman, but she looked up and told me she'd be with me in a moment. *

I am nothing if not patient. So I waited. I looked around, added a magazine to my items. In the meanwhile the employee is calling the office for help. She looks up and tells me, "I really can't help you. I have a severe allergy to greens!" My brain kicks in with 'what the hell are you doing working in a store that sells greens then?' but my mouth does not open and I suggest that I'll move back with the wreath if she will come over a reset the computer, which she agrees to do. In the end, the computer just would not work for me and I eventually lost my patience, but not my social graces, and left the items for another day.  *

The list of encounters that end up badly for one or the other of us involved is long this month. At the car repair shop. The bowling alley. Papa Gino's. *

Today a coworker told me I'd "hit the nail on the head" when I commented that I don't appreciate people coming to me with a big smile on their face and their false greetings and social graces when in fact all they want is for me to do something for them. Fix a problem. Order supplies. Check their payroll. What-have-you. *

Say What? Hit the nail on the head? "Yes. That is exactly the problem. People either don't know, don't remember or don't care about being courteous and thoughtful any more. I'm not saying you have to like everyone you meet or work with, but if you practise the very act of being kind, caring, courteous it makes not only your own day, but others peoples days much nicer too."*

Sure does. *

Social Graces: *Social graces are skills used to interact politely in social situations. They include manners and etiquette, deportment and fashion. These skills were once taught to young women at a finishing or charm school. The focus of social graces has changed over the last century, recently with an emphasis on business etiquette and international protocol. * excerpted from Wikipedia.