Patrick's Saturday Six on Sunday Afternoon

... because I haven't done this is a long time, I am trying to get back to blogging and spend less time on Face Book and because I saw two other blogging friends (Donna and Barbara) post this today as well.

Here are this week’s “Saturday Six” questions. Either answer the questions in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your journal…but either way, leave a link to your journal so that everyone else can visit! Permission is not granted to copy the questions to message boards for the purpose of having members answer and play along there. Enjoy! Patrick's Place : http://www.patrickkphillips.com/ (yeah, I don't know how to change the name of the link)

1. What is the last thing you purchased for yourself, other than basics like groceries? I bought myself a nice leather bag just the other day! Before that? No guilty pleasure items ... just work clothes.

2. What is the last thing you purchased for someone else? Christmas gifts, so, uhm, can't say what or who!

3. If you were to win a lottery, what is the first charity you’d donate to? I wouldn't donate to a charity. I would organize a charity. I have a dream ...

4. If you won that lottery, what is the first “luxury” you’d buy for yourself? New teeth! Well, not dentures ... but I'd finish the project I've been working on ... right after the doctor finds a method for closing that darned hole in my jaw.

5. Take the quiz: Do You Put Yourself First or Last? Should not have bothered. I knew the answer. I also know I should change this.

You Put Yourself Last
You take everyone's needs seriously, except for your own. You mean to take care of yourself, but you're always the last one on the list.While it may be tempting to lend a helping hand every time you can, you're actually not helping people as much as you could be.You are simply not at your best. You're too frazzled to really be giving anyone 100%.Take a mental health day - or even a mental health hour - as soon as you can. It's time to start getting some balance in your life.

6. When is the last time you spent an entire weekend putting yourself first? Many years ago when I was single and had the time.

I remember about Patrick that his Saturday Six's tend to open my eyes. Maybe I'll try to get back there more often.

Emily: Early Years

Emily and Mom, December 1988 Mass General Hospital NICU. Imagine ... your baby is born at 8:20 in the evening and a scant twelve hours later she is in an ambulance on her way to Boston while you are left to wonder, 'will she be okay?' Never a shrinking violet, I was on the phone to husband, OB, pediatrician and my own mother ... until someone gave in and allowed me to leave the next morning on a day pass to go visit Emily.

I found her none-the-worse for ware, in fact, I found her in better health when I arrived, wheelchair bound ... and I enjoyed the chance to hold her and rock her

Home from the hospital, being held by our friend Paula, who after having been with us when Emily was born, announced that 'the best birth control ever for a single woman is to watch someone having a baby!'

March of 1989, Emily's Christening. Godmother Bonnie, Mom, Dad and Godfather Steven.

March of 1989 Emily is snuggled into the crook of Uncle Steven's arm.

Summer, 1989, just out of the bath.

August of 1989, eight months old. This picture shows her long, wild hair and reminds me of all the visitors we had through that revolving door ... OT, PT, nurses ...

Fall of 1990, Cole School playground. The little red building behind Dave and Emily is one of the town's historic one room school houses. Sadly, in 2009 it sits neglected and lonely.

March of 1991, in the back yard. My girls were always outdoor girls. I believed in the power and benefits of fresh air and joyful child's play.

March of 1991, ready for bed. But really ready for play.

March of 1991. She didn't make it up the slide that day ... but she did a couple of years later!

Feeding the ducks and geese in Danvers at the pond by the library. 1993

1993 Winter play. She could barely move, but she was out there enjoying the cold! Four years and three months old.

Spring 1994, a visit to Shortie the sheep at our neighbors house.

Fall of 1994. We started training for princess status early ...

Bits & Pieces

Someone is turning !!21!! this December and I've been sorting through pictures. Mind you, I haven't gotten any further back than 2003, but I am working on it!

Amy and Emily, Logan Airport December 2003 ... on our way to Ft. Myers!

Emily & Falstaff 2004 Brrr .... winter riding!

Go Celts! With cousin Christopher January 2005, Verizon Center, Manchester, NH.

First Special Olympics event ever. Track & Field. Spring, 2005.

With cousin Jamie, 2006.

On the beach in Manomet, Memorial Day weekend 2007.

Amy and Emily, Amesbury 2007.

Auntie Maryanne and Emily lean on the fire hydrant ... that the news van is parked in front of. NYC Spring 2008.

Topsfield Fair, Columbus Day weekend 2009. She can really toss a football!

Lots of reflection going on in my head as we approach age 21. From birth 'til now there has rarely been a dull or boring moment.

One of the best things about being Emily's Mom?

Experiencing life through her eyes.

Happy Veterans Day

I've nothing special to say, no new words to use, but I offer to those who have served, those who are serving and to those who will serve; May God Hold you close and may you experience gratefulness wherever you go.

My humble thanks to all of you, old and young, new and old, here or gone before. Without your willingness to serve your countrymen America would not be free.

I thank you for the many opportunities in my life that you helped to protect and keep intact.

http://sugar-sugarsotherplace.blogspot.com/ created this tag.

Over On Face Book There's That ... and Here There's This

Our friend, Donna of 'Just Me' http://donna-justme.blogspot.com/ fame has posted a status on Face Book and asks us to do the same:

Let's see how many ppl can do this. Every day this month until Thanksgiving, think of one thing that you are thankful for and post it as your status. "Today I am thankful for..." The longer you do it, the harder it gets! Now if you think you can do it then repost this message as your status to invite others to take the challenge, then post what YOU are thankful for today.

Today I commented on myself that I am thankful for the Local Heroes Wall at our Walmart. It reminded me of the pictures I have of my dad in his Army uniform -- during WWII. (I really ought to scan and post some)

Anyway ... I could go on and on about how I haven't been here or over to your place to read or what-have-you, but you all know I just get here when I can and there when time allows and that I appreciate all of you always.

I just feel like complaining right now and telling you all the things I am ungrateful for. Is there such a thing as being ungrateful for, say, extra housework? extra tidying up? extra errands? extra grocery shopping? extra cooking? extra worrying about the people in your life? extra extra?

Typically I'm the easy going sort, but let a bee get in my bonnet or a hair across my butt and things go from bad to worse and then back to good again. Just spewing in this moment has lightened the load a bit and I haven't even written anything of interest or substance.

Folks, I'm tired. Worn out. Fed up. Finished. I cannot continue to do 'all of this' alone and I have run out of ways to be nice in the asking.

But then, D would tell me I don't ask. I just do. He might be right about that. I do just do.

I feel if the people one lives with love and respect you or have some common courtesy, they would do without having to be asked, told, cajoled, harassed, nagged, snipped at, into doing 'it'. After all, they live here for goodness sake. And they can see with their own eyes what needs doing. From the simple, taking the trash out and putting a new trash bag in ... to swishing a toilet ... it's me, me and me who get it done nearly every day. On the days I don't, well, I don't. Once in a while, someone will see the trash is overflowing and take the bag out of the barrel and put a new one in. But take the trash all the way out? Sure, in their own time. "How about now?" is what I'm thinking. The list goes on and on. Laundry. We'll start it, but we won't finish it. Vacuum? Mop a floor? Make a bed? Put something back where you took if from? Write a check?

While I'm moaning and groaning about this, I need to tell you that I recognize the folly of my ways. I do, do and do and even though often the rewards don't live up to my expectations, I continue to do, do and do. It is my own fault and I'm not sure how to fix it.

I rarely sit and enjoy an activity. Oh sure, I go to my FB page, I play some computer games, I sort through pics on the PC and I watch a few television shows a week. All the while, my head is spinning with the thoughts of what needs to be done, how much time I have to get it done and there is no real relaxation going on.

You see me sitting, but I'm not chillin'.

So, that's what I'm ungrateful for.

Catch me on a better day if you want to know what I'm grateful for.

Let The Transition Work Begin

Sanibel Island, Christmas week 2003

Back when she was fourteen with long, naturally colored hair and braces on her teeth, I couldn't have imagined how quickly the years would go and how interesting they might be.

We are coming up on twenty-one! (What?!) and that means all those dreams I've been dreaming and all those worries I've been worrying are now right in front of me and the time has come to make some concrete plans, allow for some flow to them and get down to the business of bringing Emily into adulthood.

It's daunting.

I began the process of transition to adulthood back in junior year of high school when I approached the school about a part time, after school job. With a job coach. I was pleasantly surprised and mildly shocked when the school okay ed a vocational evaluation and a quickly timed meeting followed and that very afternoon the job facilitator found her a paying job at a local store, two hours, two afternoons a week with a job coach. She's been working ever since!

That job was a wonderful job at a local five and dime, now closed. But oh! She has a wonderful boss and a job coach match that clicked and it's been going forward since. The store closed one year after she began working there but her job coach mosied on over to the grocery store next door and Emily found herself gainfully employed pretty much before she was unemployed!

Same deal, two hours, two afternoons and she loves this job. She's been there over a year and a half now and has developed some co-worker friendships in-house. Which is where they will stay. But the in-house friendships does this mother's heart good. They remind me that there are still good people in the world and that my daughter is fortunate to be surrounded by folks who respect her, support her and like her.

Will her life always be this way? I like to think so. Ah, but I am more realistic than naive and so I tend to walk around with the feeling that a shoe is going to drop or the eggs aren't going to hold me. A small price to pay to see this wonderful young woman have a good, meaningful life.

Now we are facing one more year of school and then what? What will she do during the day? Continue where she currently works -- for two days, two hours? Will more hours be available? Will transportation miraculously appear? Who will her friends be in adult life? Where will she spend her off time? At home, alone? With Mom or Dad? Or will she go to a day program? A sheltered work shop? (shudder at that thought) Forty hours? Twenty hours? Health insurance?

As I mentioned, it's daunting. While the dream is to eventually find Emily living in an apartment with friends [and help] for the moment ...

I envision her living at home, with Mom & Dad, getting up in the morning and then going off to a day program, perhaps three days a week, and on the other two days working at her job. I envision transportation pulling into the driveway, but that's a dream that's not going to happen, so pull yourself together Mom and envision you and Dad doing the transportation piece.

Emily will be happy because she'll spend time with friends, learning new skills and fine tuning the ones she knows and we all will be healthy and ... living happily ever after.

Nope! Don't tell me no. I ain't gonna listen! Weekends will be filled much as they are now, with Friday night social group and Saturday morning sports and time at the gym when we can. Visits with cousins and aunts and friends and mall trips and phew ... I'm tired thinking of all we accomplish now and then I wonder, 'just how does one do this for ... ever?'

How do I make this happen? Right now I am attending a series of work shops put on by a local ARC program and I am busily calling day programs, post grad schools and day rehabs for visits to check them out and see what they have to offer. I have been talking to DDS to see what exactly they'll fund. Let me tell you, the answer there is usually 'We don't do that.' or 'There is no funding.' But I know better and don't want to hear there's no money, 'cause I know there is. I don't want to hear 'we don't do that' because I know you can if you want to and I know there are many ways to knit a sweater and we're probably using a similar pattern to others but our cables might be a bit thinner or maybe a bit more complex.

Relax, I'll help YOU figure out what she needs and we'll go from there. Team work. Team effort. Just the way it was when she was a toddler, a preschooler an elementary student and then middleschooler and highschooler.

It's all about the team and the people that will come together to help make her life meaningful.

I've already begun to worry about depression and how it will set in if she goes from five or six very active days out in the world to sitting home waiting for me to get home from work. That will not work and I won't allow it, but none the less, I worry about it. Will I be able to cut my hours back? Retire? Work evenings?

Will I be able to pull any of this off?

But more importantly than anything I've thought of or worried about ...

What will Emily want for herself?

June 2008 holding brand new cousin Jazmine.

Her license? A car? A house? A husband? A baby?

The one thing that Emily hasn't learned ... is that she really can't have it all. Not in the way you or I can. Or the way her sister or her cousins can.

But it seems to me there is a built in knowledge that what she can have, she can have differently.

And the rest? She aspires to it. All of it.

Team Sport, Team Spirit, Team Player

October 4, 2009, Special Olympics Fall Soccer Assessment

I look at that photo and I see a very small team.

Emily's soccer team has morphed.

For the last few years there have been fifteen to sixteen players on her team and with the leaving of her 'old' coach and the entrance of her new coach and some changes in the number of players allowed to attend the games ... New Coach found himself in a bit of a dilemma.

Allow only twelve players to attend the games? Split the thirteen into two teams so all can attend?

He split the teams. The 'Tigers' are seven strong, the 'Wildcats' are six strong, but with any luck they'll be seven come the fall soccer finals.

In the meanwhile, New Coach has taken this motley crew of would be soccer stars and in three practises turned them into teams with spirit, heart, work ethic and had taught each of them how to be team players.



Amazing. I have watched Emily herself morph from the young woman who wants to play soccer, but not mess her hair, her nails or her clothing, up, at all, into a young woman who is beginning to understand what she is watching and is able to be where she needs to be on the field.

Today, I saw the girl who ducks when a ball heads her way, morph into the charge right at it player ... who was able to get her feet on the ball and do some dribbling!



With five on the field and only one sub available the team rotated through in four to five minute intervals with rest periods being roughly two to three minutes. Then it was back in to spell another player. They were all red-faced, sweaty, tired and hungry after just two games, but their spirit never lagged. The lost the first, won the second and thoroughly enjoyed their day.

As did I.

Thank you New Coach. I had no idea this young woman could find her playing skills. With positive feedback and some help from you, she and her teammates excelled today in ways the spectators hadn't seen before.

Bravo!