Monday, January 19, 2009

Addendum -- Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

As I posted my entry last night I thought about how much letting go I have to do. I thought about how valuable these life lessons are. I thought about how I wouldn't want Em to learn bitterness. Her emotions are so pure and sweet and honest.

This morning I read an e-mail from L, which read in part,

At some point, the child needs to have her own life. That is living. She may never be independent from you, in the sense that another child might be... But I don't think you should feel responsible for shielding her from every (non-life-threatening) bump in the road. ((((Hugs)))) ,

and a weight lifted, just a bit. Sometimes I get caught up in the protection of, rather than he education of, Em. I need to remind myself more often that she is a young woman with a life of her own and she will learn, just like we all did, as she goes along.

Worth note here is that after I hit the publish icon last evening, I tidied up my desk and headed down the hall to see what was brewing at that end of the house. I overheard Emily saying, "Okay S. Relax. I love you!" and the distinct click of a cell phone closing. "Mom! S apologized! We're 'agether again!"

This scenario played out in my mind a dozen or more times this weekend -- and so J or I should be in touch via e-mail or phone to determine what occurred on both ends of that conversation, but for now, just for today, I'm going to let sleeping dogs lie.


FrankandMary said...

I told Don once that he was very smart, but also quite dirty(I did not mind this, encouraged it, in fact ;-), so I asked if he thought BASICALLY he'd turned out ok(He turned out very ok, btw)and he hesitated, but said yes. But he is always looking for the absolutely clean path for his kids, and it isn't realistic or at times even helpful, not in the long run.

I had a lot less parental supervision because of, well, illness and poverty in the family, and I think I turned out better for it, smart and dirty, but better.

That said, we all try to protect those we love to a certain extent, and I think you do a marvelous job, but more importantly, I think Em thinks you do a marvelous job.

Debra said...

i soooOOOooooo understand you, and her, and probably even him; and i know that you'd save her from a world of hurting, if ya could. and i also know that she's your baby, for life {aren't we all somebody's baby for life?}, and she is growing up, and grown up, and still your child. so yeah, i get it, and yeah, you got it, doesn't make it any easier tho, huh? love ya muchly, sweet girl

Becky said...

I find, that sometimes, the more I step in and try to shield my kids, the more they with-hold from me. Soemtimes they need/want to make their own mistakes....and it is so hard to sit by and watch

Lisa :-] said...

One step at a time...

BTW, did you see the "award" I gave you at "...Terms..."?

Lisa said...

It's hard when our children are going through these growing moments and we want to spare them some of the pain. Lots of blessings and hugs to you all!