Saturday, November 19, 2011

For Mary And Anyone Who's Listening

Had I known you were showing up once in a while at your own blog, I would have visited you sooner. I've missed your energetic, enthusiastic, sometimes caustic and very entertaining views and opinions of the world around you.

I am one of those folks who needs, no -- wants, to be connected to others; life-long, fleeting, joyful, painful, contented, quiet. If you are my friend, you are my friend until you prove otherwise.

I prefer the quiet kind of friendship the best. I may not hear from you and you may not hear from me (you being you -- or any other person I hold dear) but it really does not matter because when I do hear from you or vice versa, we just start up where we left off. Chatting is fine. Sitting quietly is fine. Adventures are, are, are ... awesome! when they are with someone you want to be with.

As much as I'd like to say there is nothing going on here in Brrrr, New England that just isn't true. We are building a garage. Ho-hum. The dog has been groomed. No dog smell. I still like my job. If only I could retire. I have connected with a best friend from high school. It is so much FUN! to know her again.

Big news is that Miss E is happily engaged to S and before you ask, let me just say, this will be one long engagement. He popped the question back in the spring, shortly after he went through some serious surgery and during his parents divorce. It has not been an easy year for him and I was hesitant about timing and yet, I didn't attempt to stall the process. They so love and care for each other and the joy and happiness they feel is contagious and spreads quickly. We, her family and her friends want nothing more than for her to be happy, healthy and live her life the way she wants to.

Ah, but the caveat. I have told her for years she can marry when she is twenty-five. Uh, yeah, it's creeping up on me faster than I can keep up and I am simply not ready. (nor is she, but lots of people would argue the point with me) So the focus for me, consequently her, is commitment in a relationship and learning how to live independently or with another. Life changes when you move in with someone you don't know. They have a lot of time apart so their time together can be rocky because they don't understand or know how to work through the little difficulties. Their commitment is not just their commitment -- it belongs to all of us: parents, siblings, friends. That's a lot of commitment.

If I am honest and practical I don't see marriage or living together happening terribly soon, but I dream that it will for her. I dream that all those things she wants will come to her. Somehow. Some day.

For her part, she is a wedding planner. Gowns, cakes, flowers. Honeymoon trip. Food, maid of honor, bridesmaids. What church and where will the reception be? Eavesdropping when they are together is fun. S says, 'we'll get married in the yard' E says, 'okay honey bun'. They look at wedding cakes on line. They look at gowns on line. They agree, disagree and agree again. It's really very sweet, enlightening, and worrisome.

You might wonder, did he give her a ring? Oh, yes. It's a beautiful ring. She polishes it up every day and she puts it on her finger and she holds her hand out at arms length, fingers splayed, turning it this way and that. It cracks me up and pleases me to see her so enjoy that ring.

That ring that sparkles so much. So much like her.

2 comments:

Lisa :-] said...

Good lord, Kath, I thought you had abandoned this blog. Funny what shakes out when someone rattles the old "AOL J-Land" tree! LOL!

I wish you would write more...you are very good at it! But I'm happy to be able to keep up with you on FB. It DOES have some purpose after all...

FrankandMary said...

before you ask, let me just say, this will be one long engagement.

Yeah. Positive thinking in a practical sense. Meh.
I want it to work so badly...stomping foot.
But.I.get.all.the.other.things.involved.but.still.